dayz

There is so much going in my life and yet I can't really tell you what the main points are.  There are so many little tasks to do each day and yet I want to just get those things done and move on to things I want/love to do.  Finding balance right now feels like an insurmountable task to accomplish.  I feel overwhelmed with all of my responsibilities.  I want to not only be a great mother, wife, homemaker, finance guru, teacher, friend, etc, but I also want to BE Nicole.  Just Nicole, sometimes.  Who is she? Without all of the other titles and the things that comes with those titles.  I want to be strong in her to.  I feel that is imperative for me to be her, so that I CAN be balanced and strong in all of my other roles.  So many things/little people tugging on me constantly.  There is too much "perfection" in the world.  What the world portrays as "real".  Pinterest, social media, magazines, tv, and so many other endless things that are really just ceveats to stay away from.  I want my inner self to be content with my body, my living space and what I do and how I flow from moment to moment.  I want to be at peace no matter the storms that may be around me.  I want to be joyful and happy so that my kids can emulate those positive attributes.  Answers I've been getting from prayers are: stop wanting so many things and be content with what you have.  Be less critical of your kids and just love them unconditionally. At one point, I was praying what I could do to help our family financially, what I could do to bring in some income…and the answer I got was nothing; that I wasn't supposed to do that right now, that my job was to just be a mom and work on those important things inside the home.  I admit I was a little frustrated by this answer, but I know that Heavenly Father sees the bigger picture and knows me and my littles better than I do.  I need to trust the answers that He has given me and be okay with that.  So for now, I will continue to push forward, searching for ways to be ME, and to do the best what the stewardship the Lord has blessed me with.

My favorite saying these days that grounds me….I believe it is an apache prayer…

May the sun bring you new energy by day.

May the moon softly restore you by night.

May the rain wash away your worries.

May you walk gently through the world and know

it's beauty all the days of your life.